Sunday, March 4, 2007

Keeping it real

So here's the thing. This is a biggie for me and I can't believe I am doing this but here goes nothing. To others I appear to be happy and confident in myself. To a degree this is true. But the real truth is I am disgusted with myself. I am the heaviest I have ever been and it is time for me to do something about it. I was once skinny as a rail..see above pic for general idea.. I have slowly over the years gotten heavier and heavier...I have kidded myself that I was okay with it but I am not.the past few weeks have bought it all to a head. I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I know how to do this. My biggest problem is I want a quick fix. I have no patience. BUT this is it folks..in an attempt to get healthy I am spilling my guts here...tomorrow starts a new way of life for me...please wish me well..pray if you are so inclined..send me skinny vibes ..whatever your "thing' is do it for me ??? Please?

I would tell you what I weigh but you wouldn't believe me.. I "wear it well" so they say....I even had one of those people try to guess at the fair and they were so wrong....

okay.. then..probably not what you were expecting from UKGAL this evening but remember I am keeping it real.... ;-)

hugs...

L

46 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you look great... but it's about you..... I am sending you good 'skinny vibes' along with strength.  Keep us posted!
hugs
d

Anonymous said...

sending good vibes your way lyn :)
i always look for the quick fix for things too...too bad with a lot of things there isnt one huh
have a good night
love, emily

Anonymous said...

Im sending you vibes for what it is you want for yourself ...love Jan xx

Anonymous said...

I'll pray for you and also send skinny vibes your way..... gettin em yet???  hehe.. I know you can lose the weight...YOU CAN DO IT! People always tell me that I dont look what I weigh either... I dunno if they are just being nice though. I would wish you luck on your weight loss plan, but you dont need it, you are going to do fine!!

Anonymous said...

I think we all look for the quick fix!!! I too am in feeling the same as you, but in just one week I have cut way back on junk and have lost 8 pounds with minimal exercise. This week I am gonna exercise more!!!!! ((__++__))......that was skinny vibes coming your way....LOL You can do it.....we willl have to motivate one another so when we go to the beach we will look FAB!!!
Hugs
Carrie

Anonymous said...

you've made a start...admitting that you are not happy with yourself, and acknowldege that only you can change it!!  You know what to do, how to do it...now you just have to take that first step.  Easy...heck no!!  Worth it, definitely!!  Good luck...
xoxo ~Myra

Anonymous said...

I would be more than happy to send you "skinny vibes" but the truth of the matter is, I am in the exact same boat you are so I don't HAVE any skinny vibes!!!  But, I will tell you that I am on this same journey with you so I know how you feel, and I KNOW that we can do this....we WILL do this.....and it will be SOOOO worth it!!!

((hugs))
Jeanne

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel I have been dieting and exercising my butt off I have a private diet journal if you are interested with a couple of the girls (girls only) we do weekly weigh in's, diet recipes, but mostly for support if you are interested let me know and I will send you the link and you can take a peek hang in there you are beautiful love vicky

Anonymous said...

I am wishing you the best for your new start.  Consider it a good thing that you realized you were not OK.  That will make you strive for better.  Good Luck.  :)
http://journals.aol.com/mrsm711/LatteDah/      Tracy

Anonymous said...

i was skinny as a child then gained up to 188 on a five two person who is small boned that is huge I wore size 24 pants!!!!!!! i was huge. Im now 105 sine 2000 and its work every day I guve up food and I give up something I watch t escale and I gain and I diet all over agian. I diet eveyr day of my life!!!!!

Anonymous said...

(((((((((Lyn)))))))))) Did you first visit my journal when I posted about the weight-loss contest and read about my struggles?  I am thinking that you got to my journal via Dawn, Deb or LuAnne's?  Or maybe CarnivAOL?
If so, you know I grasp what you are saying.  Like you, I was very slender till I got married and started having babies.  I dieted up and down for many years, mostly diets that kept me feeing deprived.  I wanted quick results so I could hurry up and quit dieting.  Then I had fifteen years when I refused to even think the word 'diet'.  Even today I am not dieting.  I am making permanent lifestyle changes to take better care of my body.  I have lost eighteen pounds since November and have more lean muscle mass because of the workouts I do.  I still need to lose more --- another forty pounds at least and better would  be sixty.  I still would not be as slender as I used to be.  But I am getting healthier and feeling better now most of the time than I have in over twenty years.
I know it's hard to get real about this issue that is tied so closely to self-worth.  I do congratulate you and say HEY THIS IS A GREAT START to becoming more of what you want to be.  Works best from the inside out dear!
loving you
karyl

Anonymous said...

I'm 44 years old, and even though i'm slim, it is very much a struggle to stay this way, each and every day. Its our age...I need to think twice about every time that i eat something, and what it is that I'm eating and how much. It stinks, but...that 40+ slower metabolism I guess.

Anonymous said...

I am fighting the same battle....so I know how hard it is. I wish you the best in your efforts!!!

Good luck!
Tracie

Anonymous said...

I love it when people keep it real. We all fight our own personel battles. I know that you can win this one. I do hope that you have a great monday!
Kelli
http://journals.aol.com/kamdghwmw/noonmom

Anonymous said...

Front page of the Sunday times yesterday, researchers have tested all the diets, guess what? The Atkins diet came out on top, even better than the one the US government recomend. Atkins dieters were healthier and had less body mass and weight after the tests. Get that, its the Atkkins again for me!......... Oh well, off to Oldham now.
Byeeeeeeeeeeeee Gaz xx

Anonymous said...

Sending skinny vibes your way!  Can you send a few back?  I have been struggling these past month or so with my diet.  It's hard with so many people around to stick to a routine.  There's been so much goodies to eat around and I hate feeling deprived...that's probably why I haven't updated my fat journal.  I'm not giving up though and I'll be your diet buddy if you like!  There's a whole chapter in the Secret book all about dieting and diets and losing weight.  It makes total sense.  I know all too well the feeling of looking in the mirror and being totally disgusted....most of the time I don't really think about it much, but when I see myself in the mirror it slaps me in the face...ugh...
marie
http://journals.aol.co.uk/mariealicejoan/MariesMuses/

Anonymous said...

Okay, send me some skinny vibes too and let's both get this over with as quick as possible.  I am doing better than when I left Florida only because I've been lifting, jumping and tugging on boxes for weeks now but now I have to get back on that treadmill.  It's a daily battle and I must not let my hair down.  Everytime I do my body creeps up that scale darn it.  I look at food and it clings to me.  LOL. But we can do this.  We can overcome.  We shall.  We will.  Hugs,
Lisa

Anonymous said...

I know the feeling...and I hate those extra stones on me, every day. There are solutions though
Valerie
http://journals.aol.co.uk/iiimagicxx/surreality/

Anonymous said...

Good luck to you I have been yoyoing in weight for many years and have always found the losing much harder than the gaining. I am losing slowly now but that's because I am taking my pills (hypothyroxic) but I'm not good at self medicating and tent to forget then pile more weight on. So I wish you all the best.
Debbie xxx

Anonymous said...

I think when the weather is better...you get out in the yard working....and swimming more...and maybe a walk in the evening or early morning....that the pounds will come off...and of course....going over what you have inyour diet....cutting out the part you don't really need (the part we enjoy the most)...the pounds will come off...not as fast as they went on...but they will come off...good luck and God Bless...Ora

Anonymous said...

Lyn, I feel your pain sweetie. Kinda where I am at now in life..lol..this seems such a hard battle for me...believe it or not, giving up smoking was easier...saying that, it's probably because of that, that I put all this tonnage on lol!  I'm sending you all the skinny vibes i can, if you get a mo...send some back to me please!!! Take care, Millie. :)

Anonymous said...

Sending you skinny vibes, hugs and prayers!

Gretchen

Anonymous said...

I know how your feeling. I use to work out, I use to be so into it. And now? My Illiptical is collecting dust...I hate myself for that.
Best of luck to you baby. I'm here for you.
hugs,
Ellen

Anonymous said...

Im also sending skinny vibes. I will keep my fingers and toes crossed you stay on track. You can do it!!!!
love and love
katie

Anonymous said...

good luck with the diet, your a beautiful lady.

Anonymous said...

I send you wishes that you become the way (in body & spirit) that makes YOU happy - but also healthy.  Remember, the way we feel about ourselves is far more important than how other's see us.  Skinny is not always the key, but our spiritual beauty far outshines the outer and reflects back on us.  You get to where YOU want to be - not how society would wish you to be. Does that make sense? I'm sending you lots of inner strength & the ability to love yourself for YOU. Hugz, Teresa
http://journals.aol.com/stetsonsfyre/remembering-to-exhale/

Anonymous said...

Oh, btw Lyn... I think you are a beautiful woman.  Hugz again, Teresa

Anonymous said...

i told my true weight in my old journal and now that i have haters, i am being accused of weighing 300 lbs. I have never weighed 300 lbs. I wonder why it is that women have to attack another woman about her WEIGHT?

I think you are beautiful. I wish you the best of luck losing weight. It does take time!
love, lj

Anonymous said...

damn girl these are my thoughts exactly.
only wish I had the determination like you,
wishing you all the best and going to look for my diet add pills right now, lol,
Have a great day, MISSY  

Anonymous said...

You are a beauty!  Good luck with your journey.
Gillie

Anonymous said...

Oh you were stunning at 15 and even more fabulous now!  I can't talk because I am overweight but when I do diet I find I can lose weight quickly if I have jacket potatoes with beans, no butter and salad, which are quite filling.  Also, pasta with dolmio mixed on and salad.  Also, home made vegetable soup seems to shift the pounds and is quite filling too.  I also found those pizzas on french sticks are quite low in calories, again with loads of salad.  Hugs.  Terry x

Anonymous said...

I think you look great now!  I think we all gain some weight over the years especially if we had children.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  I'll support ya thru your weight loss!
Missie

Anonymous said...

Oh dear Lyn, you were a beautiful girl and now you are a beautiful woman, please don`t feel disgusted with yourself for putting on a bit of weight.

Love Sandra xxxx

Anonymous said...

I think we all talk about it for a while and procrastinate.
I know I did but im on the road to success with a new attitude and determination.

Anonymous said...

I just emailed you something that might help.

Anonymous said...

Good luck with the slimming. And don't be disgusted with yourself. It's what's on the inside that really counts. B. x

Anonymous said...

HEY UK, DIETING DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A BORE. IF YOU DO A MODERATE WORKOUT WITH MOST OF IT LIFTING WEIGHTS ( NOT HEAVY ONES) AND EAT 5 MEALS A DAY (SMALL BUT NUTRITIONAL) YOU WILL LOSE YOUR WEIGHT IN NO TIME AND NEVER BE HUNGRY. YOU DO HAVE TO LIMIT YOUR SUGAR INTAKE, THAT IS A DIET KILLER BESIDES BEING THE PRECURSOR OF DIABETES. IT REALLY WORKS , THE SMALL MEALS WILL INCREASE YOUR METABOLISM AND THE WEIGHT TRAINING WILL TRADE  FAT FOR MUSCLE . GOOD LUCK -JERRY

Anonymous said...

Good luck and my best wishes are being sent to you xx

Jenny

http://journals.aol.co.uk/jmoqueen/MyLife

Anonymous said...

Hi Lynn. . .I will help you with your weight loss.I joined weight watchers in January. . .like you I was feeling crap and I felt sluggish and bloated after the christmas chocfest.I went on the core plan and so far have lost over a  stone!! I am averaging two pounds a week which is great and to be honest I feel so much better and getting dressed each day is a treat as the clothes get looser.I am doing this purely for health reasons ,im not a fattist lol. . .seriously though I put two stone on looking after my poorly husband trying to fatten him up. . .well guess who put the most on!!You are beautiful and your daughter looks so much like you at fifteen. . spitting image!! I wish you the best of luck. . try not to think you are ona diet though.

Anonymous said...

Oh honey, I feel your pain. I probably don't need to lose two toddlers but I bet it's one and a half by now. Oy! I'm proud of you dearie! You can do whatever you set your mind to! I believe in you.

Anonymous said...

Oy!  You are beautiful both then and NOW!  Good luck hon!

De ;)

Anonymous said...

True beauty definitely takes after her mother.....you are the double of each other in that first pic!!
I can't believe you are unhappy with the way you look.  You are GORGEOUS woman!!  But I will send you good luck vibes anyway.  Can you not wait til August before you start?  Cos I'll be the size of a house by then and we can support each other!
Big hugs,
A xxx

Anonymous said...

you look gorg to all of us but im sending you positive thoughts anyway.Beckie.xx

Anonymous said...

I am in the same boat as you and I can tell you, as we age, our bodies betray us and our metabolism is nil.  Perhaps moderation is the best path, sweetie.  Eat healthily and moderately exercise.  Drink lots and lots of water.  You are still a very beautiful woman.  I wish you could see yourself through others' eyes!

Hugs,
Susie
http://journals.aol.co.uk/susanebunn/ItAllStartsAfter50/

Anonymous said...

I can really relate! I weighed 98 pounds when I got married at age 21, and I've been steadily putting on pounds ever since.  I just can't seem to get motivated to get into a regular exercise routine.  I guess I have to "want" it bad enough.
Lori
http://journals.aol.com/helmswondermom/DustyPages

Anonymous said...

Oowwwwww Lyn.......me and you are in the same boat .........lol

Well sending 'Skinny Vibes' from back home

Take Care
Jayne