TRIBUTE TO MY MUM

I have posted this before but wanted to re post it as yesterday was the 7 year Anniversary of her passing...also mine and hubby's 27th Wedding Anniversary....

As you know I did not have the greatest of relationships with my Mum.She was moody, miserable, bitchy a lot of the time. She was also very funny, kind hearted, great with old people..would give you the shirt off her back.. great sense of humour..we once almost got thrown off a bus for the uncontrollable giggles caused by a man sitting opposite us with this huge bandage on his nose..one look at him and her and I were off...it was terrible!! the more we tried to stop the worse it got... LOL She cried at the Waltons and Little House on the Prairie.. she loved dogs..we had a Red Setter called Tramp for 14 years.. she walked him 3 miles every day..sometimes twice...she could do cartwheels, juggle, ride a motorbike, never learned to drive..she tried a few times but always gave up she was way too nervous.. she made Christmas very very special.. she would begin "hoarding" food as early as September..she kept it all under th stairs...she loved Malteasers (English candy similar to whoppers) she smoked..in her later years rolled her own to save money.. I saw her get into at least 3 fist fights with women...she had a terrible temper...one time this girl was after me..said I had been after her boyfriend..my Mum drug her out the pub by her hair and told her she ever so much as looked at me wrong she would be back... ;-) She loved Country and Western music and dancing and slot machines. she was the life and soul of the party and no one would ever believe the way she was at home..she was terrified of Doctors, hospitals and had a morbid fear of choking.. she chewed her food into tiny pieces to avoid that....if we ever got hurt as kids she would go get the neighbours because she would panic......she once knocked two ornaments together while dusting and smashed them and cut her palms badly..she had to have stitches and they pretty much had to put her to sleep to do them..LOL...she was always dusting, hoovering, would come in on a Saturday morning when I was trying to sleep in and open the curtains and the bloody windows and start hoovering around me...LOL.. she would spit on a hanky and wipe off my face as a kid ewwwwwwwwww...she was only just 5' tall..she was one of twins..her twin died at birth..she was born in a workhouse..she only weighed 2lb.. she never met her dad he was an alcoholic and died of Cirrhosis of the liver.. her family was very poor.. she had 2 sisters and 3 brothers...hr real name was Diana but everyone called her babe as she was the youngest.. I once watched her and her sister get into a fight..my dad and my uncle had to separate them with a water hose...LOL.. she was very very passionate... she would defend us kids to the very end...looking back I can see we had far more happy times than sad...but when I reached puberty that was it..we fought on and off for years..she seemed to be jealous of me..she begrudged me the relationship I had with my dad..she felt like it was us against her...the things she said and did to me were awful..she hit me..she called me all the names under the sun...she hated with the same passion she loved...but at the end of the day I can say that she loved me and she did her best...she grew up in a time when you didn't talk about women's problems, depression was not an option, I know she suffered from it though, and I know she had a terrible time with menopause but never asked for help... and I can admit I was a typical moody teenager. I just wish things could have been different.. I wish we could have had the kind of relationship I have with my daughter... that is the one good thing that came out of it..I was determined to not be the way she was...

Can't believe it's been 7 years Mum..you live on in my dreams..you come to me often and for that I am grateful...nite nite God Bless Mum..Hope you are proud of me ..

L xx

ME AGAIN...

Good Evening Campers!!

I appreciate your support of my last post..it has been and continues to be a living nightmare..my FIL's wife continues to slander my name to her family..blames me for everything...says I made a mountain out of a molehill..etc etc...well say what you want ducky but at least one other person agreed with me because you were turned over to social services!! I believe it was someone at the hospital because they had taken photos of my FIL's bedsore when he was in the hospital previous to the dog mauling.. it was significantly larger this time...that's because no one has been taking care of it..my FIL's wife has refused all care for my FIL except for what Hospice provides and they only treat his Primary complaint which is the end stage COPD..so his diabetes..his high blood pressure..his anemia..and his bed sores have not been treated... On a positive note my FIL now has Home health dressing his bed sore and his foot wound..the hospice nurse caring for his COPD and now a new private nurse who is there to do whatever needs to be done..I met her today and almost cried with relief...this past weekend my FIL's wife put a padlock on the gate so I can no longer "walk in whenever I feel like it"...we always have just walked in...but now it's a problem...all of this is just a dig at me..but today meeting the new nurse and seeing that my FIL is finally getting the care he deserves makes all I have been going through worthwhile..and hubby has a conference here in town next week and will be home for 6 days..I cannot wait to see him and just have someone hold me .. I am not going to lie the past few weeks have taken their toll on me..I felt myself starting to go to that dark place..the one where I hide under a rock...I don't want to go there..I have been staying busy..doing things that make me happy..puttering around my garden..reading by the pool..watching good movies..drinking wine..chatting with my girlfriends..I even gave someone my resume and have a job interview tomorrow..woo hoo! It's time to take my life back...if I get this job it will be a huge change in my life...but I'm ready..I have way too much time on my hands at the moment ..to be honest I've been bored for a while but just didn't know what I wanted to do...this new job opportunity sounds just what I need...I don't want to jinx it so I won't tell you what it is but if i get it you'll know!! ;-)

That's about it..by the way my 4 year blog anniversary was April 17th... ;-)

L xx