Good Morning Campers...
Does anyone else have a hard time saying no sometimes??
Case in point. the happy hour thing. ...It was at Shannons which is a good 20 miles from here...over a huge bridge (I have issues with that bridge) and in rush hour traffic. I was going to go..bear in mind I always have to drive over there because everyone lives over that side or are already over there because they are working...well about 30 minutes before I was supposed to leave the heavens opened here in typical late afternoon Florida tradition..it was thundering...pouring rain..lightening..etc etc.. just plain old miserable out..so I decide I am not going to drive all the way over there in that mess just to have a drink..well they gave me 'attitude' to put it mildy...it's always the same..if I say no to anything it is a big deal. Two of the others weren't going anyway..I don't know if I should be flattered that it bothers them if I don't go or pissed off that they make me feel so darn guilty...anyone that knows me knows I HATE driving anyway so they should have known I wouldn't have wanted to drive in that storm...
Anyways they made me feel like crap..I kept looking out the window..hoping it would brighten up..hubby was like "look just forget about it..it was an after work drink not a meeting and if you don't want to go don't go..no worries" easy for him to say.... <sigh>
(This is the actual bridge..just one side of it..it has four lanes coming the other way too...)
45 comments:
I think your husband was right if you didnt feel happy about the drive ,you wouldnt have enjoyed your self anyway,Sometimes you have to say no for your own peace of mind ,,,Jan xx
Holy crap, I'd have issues too with that bridge!!! I'm the say way, hate saying no, (get's me in trouble at times but that's another story!!! LOL)
They will get over it ....dont worry.
hugs,
E.
i am a bit peeved that these people are so insensitive to you and they should take into account that you are scared of the bridge and the weather was horrible. I am sure their crappy attitude towards you will be forgotten when you all go out again together.
Love,lisa jo
Be flattered not guilty.......... I don't like the looks of that bridge either!
hugs
d
Well my dear... I think you are allowed to make your own decisions as an adult! People will always try to get you to do what THEY want you to do... not whats best for you. You said no... you listened to your gut... you ruffled a few feathers... you did the right thing. Guilt is such a decpetive feeling... don't give in to it!
I cannot say no and pay the price for it. Good for you that you know better! Be happy that you are strong enough to do whats best for you. Thats why we like you!
God bless-
Amanda
P.S. If we lived closer I would bring the drinks to you (and sneak a swim in your pool!) he he
I would just feel flattered and smile! lol Back in the late 70's there is this hill out east of our city. Every time I go over that hill... I just know that someone is going to be in my lane! ?? It is now the old hi-way and I begged my son to take the new hi-way when he use to go that way to the church where he was youth minister. He thought I was crazy. lol That hill still freaks me out! I hardly ever take the old hi-way by choice. Follow what you feel, may be nothing but at least you will be happy with the choice. Forgot to put you on alert!! Have a wonderful day, Janie
Ah to be the life and soul of the party and in such high demand!!! I agree with the others - be flattered they want you there not annoyed - would be much worse if they were trying to avoid inviting you! But NEVER feel guilty for not going - do what suits you!
Hope you have a fab weekend
Hugs
Wendy in Oz
(((((((((((HUGTOYOU))))))))))))I am sorry they were so rude to you,I wouldnt have gone in the storm either,I know my Mom wouldnt have gone.You made the right choice not going.If they get mad,let them,they will get over it.They should understand how you feel.Have a nice Sat.
Don't worry about it Doll, you and the man could have had your own party ;-)
Gaz xxxxx
Good for you, bad for them to make you feel bad!
Traci
I agree with you it was snot worth it to travel al that way in bad driving conditions just for a drink I am not all that keen on driving now as everybody is so aggresive over here. Have a good weekend. Love Joan.
I used to have trouble saying no. Not any more. I figure if they are truly your friends, care about you, they would not want you to drive in that mess. On the other hand, they DO care about you so much, that they love your company!! I think you do what pleases you, not hurting anyone. Pleasing others can become such a habit that you lose yourself to it. I wouldn't do that bridge either, rain, sun, sober or tipsy!!
xoxo ~Myra
I have a friend that does that to me too....I hate it...she makes me feel bad. But sometimes I would rather feel bad then do something I truly dont want to do...but it is hard...I understand.
Michele
I'm the same way...have a hard time saying "no" -- getting a little better but it is worse with some people or some situations.
Janis
When I lived in Tampa I hated driving on the bridges! It is one of the things they MAKE you do in drivers ed classes and I about had a heart attack! ]
I hope you went out for margaritas with Hubby instead! :)
Gillie
It comes and goes with me, sometimes I am assertive, but some people I just hate to say no to and I wind up feeling miserable whatever I do., I hate that feeling.
I also am with you about that bridge. I don't' know why but for some reason I am just so paranoid of driving lately. I have driven all over the country but now I white-knuckle it when ever I get on the interstate. There is a bridge around here that freaks me out,too. Just one particular bridge I don't know why. Add bad weather to it, andI am a stay at home person. They can come see me!
Love
Marti
I have the same problem..not with driving my saying the word "no." I'm such the "people pleaser" that if I say that "selfish word" it becomes really out of character for me and people get upset and frustrated because they always expect a yes. Next time tell them that your car isn't working properly, or you found a nail in your tire, or the steering wheel fell off. Your friends will understand eventually..don't feel bad; it's quite a drive in a storm just for a drink! Julie :)
Lyn, I have a hard time saying "No" to Anthony when he looks at me wth those beautiful eyes, Hugs Lisa
Believe it or not ,NOT being able to say the word NO ruined my life at one time.When I had councilling and was told to be more assertive. I found life was much easier on me.So don't be down and feel like you say you do.You must say NO to some things otherwise your life will end up miserable like mine did.Like you say people get used to the YES all the time and then when you do say NO thats what upsets the apple cart,so to speak.Take Care God Bless KATH
astoriasand http;//journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLERHYMES
I don't do traffic-driving, either, epescially in a storm where you can't see well. Maybe your friends should take into consideration that you didn't feel up to risking your life that day? Jeesh! --Cin
yeah....I wouldn't be driving in crappy weather over a bridge I didn't like either. Your friends should be ashamed of trying to make you feel bad! (There....put the guilt where it should really lie...on them!)
I've gotten better at saying no in my old age. Either that or I've started not to give a crap - one of the two....LOL
~Amy
They can't make you feel guilty unless you let them. If you didn't want to go, or if the weather made you nervous about driving they ought to be more understanding. You did the right thing for you and that is all that matters. Have a good weekend Mum! LOL
Phil
You know, you don't really talk about the work crowd usually from the "friend" angle but I understand that you work with these people and so you want to keep the dynamic there friendly so that you're work hours are more pleasant. They were probably just surprised because you always say YES. At the very least, they were disappointed they wouldn't have you in a social situation.
In a relationship I'm more a yes person than in the friend environment. But I keep my circle of friends small for that very reason. We are all comfortable enough with one another that NO is perfectly acceptable.
But on a side note... let's really LOOK at this, shall we? It was POURING. You'd have to drive over a bridge you hate in horrible weather. AND the reason you were going was specifically to DRINK ALCOHOL. One drink or not, doesn't matter. YOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION.
I'M PROUD OF YOU, GIRL!!!! Leaders are born with the word, "No."
PS: However, when it's come to jobs... I always end up doing way more than I'm getting paid for because I can NEVER say no to the line, "Mary Jo, you're really the best person to do this..." LOL So, despite my posturing above, I'm really a PUSS. LOL
I hate saying no but at 48 I am getting better at it. You know what I found out? It took me a while to figure it out. LOL. I say no and know one is mad and they are still my friends. So, as I get older I am finding it easier. All my life I have been a push over.
Oh... don't feel bad... {{{ Lyn }}}
be well,
Dawn
Hubby was right. Mind you, I don't like t say no either. B. x
My biggest fault is I can't say no to people! Hope your having a good weekend.
Missie
i am HORRIBLE at saying no!
i would not have wanted to drive in rain all that way either!
hope you have a good weekend
em
No. No Problem. ;) ~ Mike
If I try to say no (rare) I always get asked "why?" and it just never occurs to me to say "because I don't want to". But my biggest problem is shopping with other people: I ALWAYS end up going everywhere they want to go and there's no time for my shops or I feel I have to hurry up so as not to keep them waiting!
Love, Angie, xx
I hate saying no too BUT I would not have drove over that bridge in a storm.!!Your mates will get over it Lynn.
I think you were right to say no and they were rotten being funny about it. I'd have done the same. Don't feel guilty. Hugs, Terry x
Yes, I do sometimes have a hard time saying "no"! I totally understand.
Lori
I do but not as bad as i did when i was younger.
The best gift I ever gave myself was the permission to say "no". I say it a lot. Too much at times. LOL
I have a tough time with bridges too.
Russ
I have a hard time saying no to certain people. it's in my nature to be a helper. I'm glad you kept yourself safe, hope you had a good day!
Jess
http://journals.aol.com/sapphireslosing/TheJourneyWithin/
Don't blame you for not wanting to go.
Debbie
xxx
I have a hard time saying no to people also. Even if it totally inconveniences me I usually say yes to things when I should be saying NO! I always attribute it to being a Libra; you know...wanting peace and harmony and all the time and no bad feelings. I hate when people are mad at me so I spend most of my time making sure everyone else is happy. We need to stop that!!! and put ourselves first. I think you made the right decision and your friends will get over it.
Hope you are enjoying your weekend!
Maria
I used to have a hard time saying no. But I got over it and so will your friends!!!
June
I have trouble saying no too and I hate driving on certain bridges....
Hugs,
Lisa
Awwww, that's not right. If you don't wanna go, you don't go, simple as! Take no notice hun. I don't like the looks of that bridge myself..lol!
Love ya
xxx
I have been on that bridge on a nice day....ahhh rainy stormy day...lightning and thunder....and night time...no way....I will stay put where I am....LOL....getting caught up here on my journals.....hugs to ya....Ora
I cant drive but I always end up doing things i dont realy want to do as I hate to let people down, even if it makes me miserable!I guess we are people pleasers!Beckiexx
In my opinnion that was a sucky thing to do, making you feel guilty about not going. I wouldn't have wanted to drive over that bridge in a storm either, there doesn't look like there is much holding the cars on if someone starts to hydroplane!! I've been in similar situations and had friends make me feel bad (in the past) for not doing one thing or another that they wanted me to do. I think some of them mean well, and it's their way of letting me know that I'll be missed, or was missed, but that doesn't always make someone feel better knowing that. I always have a hard time saying no, so when the guilt trip comes it only makes it worse!! I wish I had some good advice here, lol...but I don't. I hope they lay off next time!!
xoxo, Heather
Strange bridge. I love to look at bridges.
Take care, Chrissie
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