Good Morning campers!
How are we all on this fine Monday morning? <ducking coffee cups being thrown at my head> yea yea I know why am I so cheerful..actually I am not but I am doing what we Brit's do best and keeping a stiff upper lip and plodding on even though my feelings have been hurt considerably by someone I considered a friend here in J Land...I just said to Marie that I thought she was brave meeting someone from J Land in real life..and now the person who was going to be my first actual meet in person friend from J land has dropped me like a hot potato for speaking my mind...(another thing we Brit's do well) you don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out who it is and seeing as her Blog is now private it makes no difference..Heather from Corset Updates.. the poor girl has been fighting a toothache/gum infection for days now and was looking forward to her new hubby of less than a month coming home for the weekend to take care of her and get her to a dentist or doctor..BUT he decided not to come because she wouldn't be very good company for him and instead asked her to get her 16 year old to take her to an Urgent Care or to have her front tooth pulled because that would be cheaper than a root canal..he also has not added her to his insurance plan and doesn't intend to for a while yet...too costly or maybe he thought he would wait and see if there would even be a need to?? hmmmm...anyway..Heather wrote all about this..told us how hurt she was and upset..followed by a second entry that said he had only phoned her once and that she was in so much pain and she sounded so desperate..so I offered my credit card to get her to a dentist and I was going to ask if anyone wanted to donate..but I told her that I would be putting it on my public journal and her hubby might not like that...so low and behold I get up this morning and she has blocked me from her Journal and gone private...WTF? if you don't want people to comment or take action then don't write about it...we only know you through your words and that is what we react to....don't cry for help if you don't want it..you know what happened to Peter when he kept crying wolf right? needless to say it will be a long time before I offer to help someone out in J Land again...and a long time before I trust again...my feelings are hurt but that's okay I have a special draw full of big girl panties and I shall put on my prettiest pair and deal with it.....;-)
Okay moving right along....
I went to church yesterday...it was interesting..and before you roll your eyes (GaZ..;-) I think I might actually like it... lately I have been feeling pretty lonely..empty..like something is missing.. I am getting older..the kids are pretty much gone most of the time..hubby has his golf and his job is pretty demanding..me? I am kinda floundering around.. so anyway I went..I liked it and I might just go again...don't worry Gaz I promise not to go holy moly on you..this wasn't like any church I have ever been to before..it was in the movie theatre of all places..lots of young energetic surfer type people just having a good time and playing some excellant music and enjoying each other...sounds like a winning recipe to me...watch this space...
I need to go get ready for work....you all enjoy your Monday....I know how we all love them..;-)
My good things...
1. New babies..welcome to the world Ricky Ray junior...one of Ryan's best friends and his girlfriend just had their little boy...he is precious....
2.. Letting go....and learning from it...
3... A rain free day yesterday....
4.... Floating in the pool yesterday with a good book...utter bliss...
5..... Ryan got a haircut..he had been growing it out all summer and it was bloody awful but I never said a word..then out the blue Saturday he asked me to take him to the barbers.... ;-)
60 comments:
Good Morning (((Lyn))) ~ I'm hurt, too. I just don't get it. All we've done is love her and want what's best for her. Oh well, I'll put on my big girl panties and move on as well. Glad you had a positive experience in church. Have a good one, my new Friend!
Love, Diane :)
(((((((((Brit))))))))))
Oh dear your day hasnt got off to a good start has it.Thats not nice of your friend to block you especially after you offered to help her.Maybe she has some pride when refusing money help but she could have dealt with it in a different manner.Never mind it has shown her true colours and obviously not a good friend.Dont get too despondant about it you got plenty more friends in J land.She's obviously frustrated with her new hubby's dejection and is using you to take it out on.Alas there aint nowt you can do except leave her to come to her senses.Glad you enjoyed going to church.Enjoy your monday and don't work too hard.
I'm glad you went to church ! I have to get back in the groove of going....I know, bad, bad catholic!
hugs,
Ellen
PS I'm emailing you about the other topic
Hiya Gorgeous! So much for free speech huh??? Well, I always say "misery loves company" and things have been way too miserable over there for me for a long time!!! But, sorry you got sucked into the whirlpool of disaster. Just lucky the filter got you out before too much harm was done hey??...lol!!!
I know what you mean about "something missing" in your life. If this new church does it for you, then go for it - just promise not to loose that evil sense of humour will ya???
Hope you have a great week and may all the bridges you cross be little ones...so to speak!!
Hugs
Wendy in Oz
awww man.. sorry to hear that.. is it possible the block went on for some other reason and she just hasn't added you yet? I am hopin that is the case... Glad church has filled a void of sorts...
Have a great Monday..
hugs
d
you never know what motivates another perosn.There may be things going on in her life you don't' know about that caused her to do what she did. It might not have been because of you at all.
Anyway, you are not responsible for what she does, you are responsible for what you do. You did a kind, courageous and generous thing. Good will come form it somewhere along the line, even though you may not know of it, either.
Love
Marti
Good Morning to you too ! So sorry you had that bad experience. It' s hard to know some people well through the internet. I am glad that you got to church though. My church is not one of those mega new modern ones. Rather a very old church with a lot of deep roots in the community. I don't think it matters, it's just the going every Sunday that gets me through another week. 'On Ya' -ma
girl you crack me up! what is J Land? I'm so glad you have a journal, it's like reading a book, and you make one hell of an author :) have a great monday!
court
Lyn, you were hugely compassionate to a complete stranger. That says volumes about your character! That woman should have been honoured! She's the prat to not graciously respond one way or another. Rejection really stinks, especially when your help was given us unreservedly.
You are such a dynamic woman. I truly hope that your emptiness is just PMS or the dreaded curse of old aged woman coming on. Of course, that could be pretty ugly too, huh? WE need you and are always very interested in your life and thoughts. Besides, everyone is entitled to a whinge once in a while!
Big Hugs,
Susie
http://journals.aol.co.uk/susanebunn/ItAllStartsAfter50/
Glad you enjoyed church! Its hard when your family doesnt seem to need you as much isnt it. I too am a golf widow so know how you feel.
Louise x
I'm sorry your friend went private and blocked you from her journal after you offered your help to her. Glad you liked the church you attended. Have a great monday. ((((((hugs))))))
Cindy
Wow, sorry to hear about this. Yea, I know that everyone can read my blog, and frankly I don't care, I even know my ex reads my blog along with his loyal puppy (his girlfriend). She had recently posted on her myspace that we need to be careful what we blog about so as not to hurt people's feelings. All I can say to that is "GET OVER IT!!!". Geeez, some people. That would have been a sweet gesture to pay for her dental bills since her hubby is an ass.
I just saw that Heather went private. I think it was a wonderful thing that you offered to help her.
Missie
I kind of know the feeling and in some ways I suppose I've rejected some in J-Land as well, not by going private but but just turning off new entry alerts. I feel that most of J-Land has either rejected me or has just chosen to ignore me for I seldom receive notification of any comments on my journal. I have gotten some negative comments in the past but those I can just choose to ignore and delete and if necessary block the person from commenting. Anyway, don't let it get to you. Personally I admire someone that speaks their mind openly and honestly rather than someone who lies and tries to say what they THINK you want to hear.
Have a wonderful day.
Britt
I wouldn't worry about that rejection too overly much Lyn. From reading alot of what's been on her pages in the past I have always gotten the feeling she is a bit of a loose cannon, and very attention seeking, and I will probably get some flack for saying that, but that is just the way I have felt. I tuned out of her page a long time ago. In my opinion it is no great loss, but I do feel bad that you have extended yourself as much as you have only to be treated like she has treated you. For what it's worth not all people on here are like that. Maybe I have just been lucky, but my experiences have always been pretty wonderful with everyone on line I have met, including my husband, lol. I'd meet you in a heartbeat, because the sincerity of your heart comes through loud and clear. You IS good people, and it shows!
love,
Marie
http://journals.aol.co.uk/mariealicejoan/MariesMuses/
Sorry to read you are so angry,but AOL have been playing havock this week with lots of blogs,maybe your friend has been having problems as others have.Lets hope so.I hope you soon feel better,it is hard when you feel lonely and the kids grow away from us.It nearly drove me mad.Well I am mad LOL! but you know what I mean LOL! I hope things work out.It's not the expence of the dentist here where I live it's getting one thats accepting new pacients Grrrrrr Take Care God Bless Kath
astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLERHYMES
I just started reading Heather a few days ago. Even me a new commenter saw the way the ball was rolling. I just can't picture her situation as a loved one. A few months ago, I had to have some serious dental work done myself. I'm on disability due to my deafness. Without being asked Doc stepped up to the plate and took care of it all. My reaction was he didn't have to , I would find a way to pay for it. He looked me straight in the eyes and said it matters to you, your no longer in pain and now you have your confidence back. It was a couple of front teeth that where being worked on. That's love and we are not even married. Some people want to be loved so desperately they are willing to put up with anything. You where in the right dear heart! (Hugs) Indigo
Well. I personally have never enjoyed reading Corset Updates, for many reasons of my own. But to think that she could just ignore such a generous offer of kindness... I'd don't know what to say about the whole "private" thing and blocking you, but I do know that it is cruel and hurtful to reject generosity. I hope that you are able to get some answers as to why she behaved in such a way.
As far as going to church.......YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SOOOOOO thrilled to hear that! It sounds like an evangelical congregation, which is wonderful... (you knew I would be thrilled right!?!!!)... the only one who can fill a void in us IS the Lord (what, donuts don't work?) and being the smart lady you are, that's where you went! I will be praying with such intensity for you dear Lyn. You are such a special and wonderful and thoughtful and funny child of God... I bet He is just bursting at the seems with excitement of you seeking Him out. He loves to hear from you!!!!
OK, OK. I'll stop. But...I am really happy for you. You are SOOOOO special.
God Bless!
Amanda
I just saw the comment posted by pnutbrittle728 (heather?) and thought it was a pretty terrible way of saying sorry. In fact, I think it was a horrible and rude comment. Everything happens for a reason. I hope she is able to see how her actions affect others and hopefully make some changes in her life.
God Bless sweet Lyn-
Amanda
SORRY! NOT pnutbrittle728.............HAuls...heather. SORRY! I will quit taking up comment space now! Sorry pnutbrittle728! :(
tHE COMMENT i WAS TALKING ABOUT was INF ACT FROM HEATHER. Oh dear. Sorry. Feel free to delete all my comments!!! AHHHH!!!!!!!
Sorry dear.
Amanda
I think offering your credit card for a dentist was extremely generous of you! I must say if you had offered it to me, I would have declined but would have been moved to tears that you offered. And I certainly wouldn't have BLOCKED you. There's something to be said, I think, for people who react by pushing away people who are trying to be helpful to them. I'm not sure what that is precisely but it says SOMETHING.
Awwwww Lyn, sorry your feelings got hurt, you are a wonderful friend and I would have loved to have met you, Hugs Lisa
Can I be the first j land person you meet? While hubby is playing golf we coukd be tearing up San Diego! LOL Hang in there and stay positive.
Kelli
http://journals.aol.com/kamdghwmw/noonmom
{{{ Brit }}}} I am so sorry that you were hurt. That sucks. I am glad that you enjoyed the church you went to!
be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/
I'm fairly new to J-land. Although I don't always comment, I do read alot of different journals. I could not believe the support Heather was offered. The part she is missing is that when you open your life to everyone, you also open yourself up to their opinions. Maybe she doesn't realize how lucky she was to have gotten more than one offer to help with the bill for a dentist. I am still in awe of that gesture. I hope that her reaction doesn't sway you or anyone else from BEING there for the people that you care about...
You are a wonderful person......Have a Happy Monday.
Sheri
You win some and loose the others - sorry your feelings were hurt in this process! I, on the other hand have made some contributions here online (J-Land) and received wonderful and warm reactions with open arms. I hope your heart doesn't harden because of one heart that did! Happy to hear you enjoyed yourself at church yesterday - Glad to hear it was the Lord that you seeked for this comfort! Hope your day is a happy one - Your a wonderful being with a very generous heart and spirit! Take care of you and the rest will follow!
Katie
http://journals.aol.com/ktkamanski/HappyBeingMe/
LADIES - ladies! Come on now, stop it. I don't know the person you're talking about but from what you say she has more problems than just the toothache. Problems no amount of money will solve. She's gone private - maybe she is ashamed now or afraid of the things she said about her new husband, maybe she just doesn't want to BE helped. Lyn, I can see how it would have hurt you to be kicked back like this. Did you lose any money at asll? If not, let it be over now. Let it go. And the next time you go to church, give it to Jesus. In fact, give it to Him now, you'll feel better for it. I hope it's OK me speaking my mind, but I'm a Brit too,
Angie, xx
OMG!! Well if people want to air their dirty linen in public they have to expect others are gonna see it and comment. Some just don't know which side their bread is buttered!!
I know all about the stiff upper lip and speaking my mind - does get us girlies in some hot water at times.
The holy mo' has crossed me on a few occassions, especially when down - I'm not one to frequent such establishments (hardly ever) - but they truely are a good place for a think and some quiet time (except my head never shuts up!! - lol). I get that 'searching for something' feeling quite often - still haven't found it either.
Good luck - don't let J land and people get you down!
Regards
Chrissy - x
http://journals.aol.co.uk/cshel727/why-me/
I think a lot of us were surprised to find that the journal went private. Apparently it was a mistake, but considering she's gone private before when she didn't want certain information out here in public (understandable) and considering she doesn't want "haters" to say negative things about the hubby... it was incredibly easy to assume that she did indeed go private on purpose. Well.. heck, let's just chalk the whole thing up to human error and be done. Have a great day! Estela
http://journals.aol.com/easteeleco/Lasttimeatbat
I don't even know what to say...I'm speechless over that whole incident with that girl. First thing...that was SO sweet and generous of you to offer to pay for her to get to the dentist!! What an amazing person you are to have offered that. I just want to make sure that you know that what you did was more than what most of us would do for a somewhat stranger. I'm just so shocked by the response you got to something that couldn't even be confused as a malicious gesture!! So whatever got her upset was completely her issue and couldn't have had anything to do with you. I wish this didn't happen to you because I think you are one of the nicest women I have met through these online journals. Also...what store can you buy those "big girl" panties at...I might have need of them in the future should anything like that happen to me, lol.
xoxo, Heather
I am so sad your feelings have been hurt ~ I have never read that particular blog ~ so don't understand what is going on ~ all I do know Lyn is she does not deserve you as a friend ~ she has shut you out of her life so the best thing is to forget her ~ I wonder how she could treat you like that after you were so concerned about her and offered to pay her Dental Bill ~ Ally x
Well, Lyn I don't know what to say. I know Heather has been dealing with a lot lately....hopefully it is just a bad misunderstanding.
That was nice of you to offer. I'll let you pay my dentist bill if it will make you feel better ;-) Okay, I'm kidding.
Floating around the pool with a good book sounds like heaven to me. If you read anything especially good, let me know. --Cin
So sorry you have been hurt when you were trying to be helpful. Hope you can put it behind you and still have a good Monday. I like the floating on the pool bit you know what a bookworm I am and that sounds bliss. Love Joan
Oh good God ... have you never hit a wrong button before?
Wow. I've been Heather's friend in real life for 31 years now and I got the same message as you that she had gone private . . . I'm glad I didn't jump the gun and *assume* she had written me off as a friend. She's having a hard enough time right now, don't you think, without this public forum being opened up to bash her. I don't know you, but I was actually glad she had found a 3-D person in Jacksonville to look forward to meeting. I guess I'll just have to go to Jacksonville with her so she'll have a friend.
How kind of you to offer her help. I was blocked from a journal too, and the only reason I can come up with is I didn't comment much. I love reading the journals I read but I don't have a journal so I don't comment as much as I would if I had one. I have MSN instead of AOL. I found out about aol journals after an article in our paper about senior citizens (Dad's tomato journal) who have blogs. I read his, then spread out from there. Hope you have a good day today, Sheila
OOOOO, miserable old bag for blocking you. I need to know more abouth this Church thingy, it sounds kinda fab having energetic young surfers around ya, I might come along ;-) You sure it was a Church?
Oh and I will send you that CD, tsk tsk on me, I just forgot. And laslty, I hope your'e gonna meet up with me an the man on your next trip to Blighty? I hope you bring hubby too
Gaz xxxxxx
If in fact that was what happened then you have every right to be upset..but it was an accident...plain and simple. I hate that all this has gotten started, peoples feelings have gotten hurt and everything else... but things get misunderstood, accidents happen, wrong buttons get hit...that's life. I hope that you and Heather can talk and work this out between yourselves....because from what I've read, you care about her and I'm sure she feels so lucky to have a friend like you..it would be a shame to toss away a friendship because of a mistaken click of a button.
Take care,
Angie
You're a good friend and you were very gracious to offer your credit card to help her. I've only been reading her journal a couple weeks. This has gotten WAY out of control and I don't think it was intentional. She hit the wrong button. Hope you two can work this out. I'd be a shame to thrown a friendship away over a big misunderstanding. Have a great day!
Well poo on them!! Dont let one person ruin your outlook on the rest of us!!! Im really sorry that happened to you.....I will take your credit card anytime.....LOL Sorry, trying to lighten the situation!! Im glad to hear you have found a church that you enjoy.....I need to do the same here!!!
Hugs
Carrie
"...and the hateful, rude, mean and ugly comments made about me by people who don't even know me...Meanwhile... I get slandered and ripped to shreds by a bunch of people who don't have a clue who I am or what I am. Go on over there and read the comments. Bitter... angry... hateful... nasty comments by people who don't know me at all but think they have the right to judge me..."
What? Where ON EARTH does she see hate speech or slander in ANY comment at all?
Your commentors are thoughtful, supportive, and encouraging.
I will pray for PEACE and serenity. For me. Just kidding. For everyone. Makes me think of that song...Bad Day.
Tomorrow, everyone will be back to disliking me again. (he, he)
God Bless!
Amanda
Heather's just upset because she doesn't want us pissed at Michael! The fact is she can forget that. I am pissed at him for the fact that he didn't show up and forget her trying to defend him. Regardless of how much rouge you put on a pig it's still a pig and he's still the guy who decided he wasn't interested him coming up to tend to his sick wife and she's still hurt by that. Denial. It isn't just a river in Eygpt anymore! -Dawn-
Hi,
I am somewhat new here and I think you are a wonderful lady and I hope I can be called one of your friends too... I really wish Heather was treated better then she is. I have yet to see a pic of her and Michael with his arm around her....
hugs,
Michelle
i know all about J Land drama. Sigh. I believe you are a person who is going to say your truths as you see it and i would expect nothing less from you. i hope this passes quickly!
Love,lisa
hope it all works out for the best
You were a good friend to the person who blocked you. I would be hurt too if I were put in the same situation. Sorry :( I'm happy that you enjoyed the church service--good for you!! :) Julie
Welcome to the world of "Heather & Michael HATERS." This is what you are called if you do not support their union 100%. Heather can bash him all she wants, but we are not allowed. I totally understand that philosphy...sort of like the "we can bitch about our kids but you can't" theory....but Michael goes above and beyond any childish antics. I have said my piece about him more than once. I have seen Heather go through this abuse more than once. I could not stand by and watch her continue to go back for the abuse over and over again so I stepped back, stopped reading her journal and left. For that, I was called an unloyal friend and a HATER who didn't want to ever see her be happy. That is SO not true. I only wanted happiness for her but I knew she would not get that from Michael and while I CAN support people who don't believe in the same things I do....I cannot stand by and listen to someone cry about how badly they are mistreated and then go back over and over again to continue to be mistreated.
I totally understood the frustration behind your comments and your entry. I know that you were only concerned for her well being and you were angry that she allowed Michael to treat her so badly....and then make excuses for him. I totally understand where you are coming from. But things will not change. So, as my mom used to say "if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."
The living room is a nice place to be!! (LOL!!!!)
((hugs))
Jeanne
Dear Lyn;
I hope she doesn't leave J-Land over this. Everyone who reads that journal is concerned about her on so many levels. I felt constrained in my comments to her when I couldn't express my frustration and concern about OBVIOUS abuse and neglect of her. I live close. She needs friends and will need friends in the near future. This has been like watching a train wreck happening. I wish she'd let me be there for her, not for an I told you so session, but as a shoulder because in my gut, and maybe hers, she is going to need one. This is my opinion only. I may get bashed for it but just like everyone else, these repeated scenarios are hard to take when it's somebody you really, really like.
Nelishia
http://journals.aol.com/nelishianatl/WishingandHoping/
Well you've have a quite a monday & then some. Sorry I don't get by as regularly as usual. My grands and everyone else seem to need me moreo than the computer these days. Glad yoo enjoyed the church service. I'm not sure who you had the falling out, but I think I know her.
Well hope you have a good rest of your week (wish my Tom would get his hair cut. LOL )
Hugs, Barb
It can really become a soap opera in J-Land at times. Put some glitter gloss on that stiff upper lip and go forward!
Russ
She hit the wrong button by MISTAKE!!!! Get over it people!!
Because of all of these negative/critical/hateful comments from you guys, Heather has decided to close her journal for good!
Some of us do indeed enjoy reading her blog.... so to those of you who have ruined it for the rest of us... thanks a lot!
i am sorry i missed this entry...there have been a few J's i have not received all alerts for.....do NOT feel embarressed for going to church! Though i do know what you are saying. I also felt lost or in need of SOMETHING when i started going and i have kept going even when i felt awful or unloved or hated or whatever i had in my head at the time....go and let whatever may be, BE. This is a GOOD thing for you....i wish i was with you when you went. LOVE YOU!
lj
Hi Lyn,
So sorry this happened to you. Your a sweet gal and I;ve enjoyed you and your journal for a long time now. I'm an outspoken person too and that has cost me in J-Land too...LOL Oh well.
Take good care,
Gayla
hey im open to donations!sometimes when somebody offers to do/pay for something for me i go all shy and dont know how to react, i htink this person has had an extreme reaction!Youve got a good heart!Beckie xx
(((((((((((HUSTOYOu))))))))))))I am sorry that happend to you.i hope you have a nice weeknd.
Sorry that because of that you will no longer feel comfortable helping people out in Jland.. not everyone is that way. I do read Heather sometimes and I think she probably is just so upset over this tooth and stuff that is what got in the way of her thinking. I haven't even been to her journal in awhile to see if it's public or private and who knows I may be kicked out too. I know I comment a lot in her journal, I like to think that someone would at least come by and say hello at least once. I mean I have a busy day too. But no biggie. Hope things work out between you all. Drama is awful.
I wish I could find a good church to go to around here. I need something to keep me occupied now.
Liked your five and congrats on the new baby.
Take care, Chrissie
I'm so sorry to hear you lost a friend. And where were you when i needed help with my front tooth? LOL just kidding. What a great person you are to offer help it's her lose babe
Hugs, Marina
Sorry to hear about that Lynn......... makes you wonder about people sometimes, but as you said 'We BRITS' take it in our stride and get on with it.
Hugs Jayne
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