Today would have been my mums 75th birthday.
As you know I did not have the greatest of relationships with my Mum.She was moody, miserable, bitchy a lot of the time. She was also very funny, kind hearted, great with old people..would give you the shirt off her back.. great sense of humour..we once almost got thrown off a bus for the uncontrollable giggles caused by a man sitting opposite us with this huge bandage on his nose..one look at him and her and I were off...it was terrible!! the more we tried to stop the worse it got... LOL She cried at the Walton's and Little House on the Prairie.. she loved dogs..we had a Red Setter called Tramp for 14 years.. she walked him 3 miles every day..sometimes twice...she could do cartwheels, juggle, ride a motorbike, never learned to drive..she tried a few times but always gave up she was way too nervous.. she made Christmas very very special.. she would begin "hoarding" food as early as September..she kept it all under the stairs...she loved Malteasers (English candy similar to whoppers) she smoked..in her later years rolled her own to save money.. I saw her get into at least 3 fist fights with women...she had a terrible temper...one time this girl was after me..said I had been after her boyfriend..my Mum drug her out the pub by her hair and told her she ever so much as looked at me wrong she would be back... ;-) She loved Country and Western music and dancing and slot machines. she was the life and soul of the party and no one would ever believe the way she was at home..she was terrified of Doctors, hospitals and had a morbid fear of choking.. she chewed her food into tiny pieces to avoid that....if we ever got hurt as kids she would go get the neighbours because she would panic......she once knocked two ornaments together while dusting and smashed them and cut her palms badly..she had to have stitches and they pretty much had to put her to sleep to do them..LOL...she was always dusting, hoovering, would come in on a Saturday morning when I was trying to sleep in and open the curtains and the bloody windows and start hoovering around me...LOL.. she would spit on a hanky and wipe off my face as a kid ewwwwwwwwww...she was only just 5' tall..she was one of twins..her twin died at birth..she was born in a workhouse..she only weighed 2lb.. she never met her dad he was an alcoholic and died of Cirrhosis of the liver.. her family was very poor.. she had 2 sisters and 3 brothers...hr real name was Diana but everyone called her babe as she was the youngest.. I once watched her and her sister get into a fight..my dad and my uncle had to separate them with a water hose...LOL.. she was very very passionate... she would defend us kids to the very end...looking back I can see we had far more happy times than sad...but when I reached puberty that was it..we fought on and off for years..she seemed to be jealous of me..she begrudged me the relationship I had with my dad..she felt like it was us against her...the things she said and did to me were awful..she hit me..she calld me all the names under the sun...she hated with the same passion she loved...but at the end of the day I can say that she loved me and she did her best...she grew up in a time when you didn't talk about women's problems, depression was not an option, I know she suffered from it though, and I know she had a terrible time with menopause but never asked for help... and I can admit I was a typical moody teenager. I just wish things could have been different.. I wish we could have had the kind of relationship I have with my daughter... that is the one good thing that came out of it..I was determined to not be the way she was...
Anyways...
No Happy Returns Mum...just happy memories till we meet again..night night God Bless....
Lyn
12 comments:
It's wonderful that you do a post in honor of your mother's birthday every year. I know you loved her very much. Mothers are special to all of us and no, they weren't always perfect, but we loved them anyway. Hopefully our children will have some good memories of us one day too.
What a beautiful and honest entry about your mom, Lyn! :) At the end of the day you know your mum loves you, and that is all we can truly ask for. :) Hugs to you friend. :)
Very interesting person, your mom was. It's good that you remembered the good and the not so good. I think everyone struggles to be a good person and some of us have to work harder (myself included) but we do the best we can. I blamed my mom for a lot of things caused by her depression but looking back, we always had what we needed even if we disagreed at the time.
I think it is only after our moms are gone that we truly realize what wonderful people they were, in spite of their flaws, or what we perceived as their flaws, they loved us so very much and did what they thought were best for us at the time; like we try to do with our kids. She sounded like a good mom for you; I am sorry she is not there at this stage of your life; who knows what type of relationship it would have grown into.
betty
This blog post is a touching tribute to your mom. All relationships have flaws, as was the case between you. It is nice you can see through the pain to see her in a good light. We do the best we can, with what we have to work with. May she rest in peace. Take care.
Funny how love and hate run together sometime. But your mum sounds like a great gal. I know it was according to where you were sitting, but I like your attitude.
I have a saying I try to live by: We all are human, there are no instructions, we do the best we can, some can just do better.
Anyway I enjoyed the nostalgic entry, it is easy to see at the end of the day, you loved her too.
also, coincidence today is my Sherry's 74th birthday. So happy birthday to Mum also!
Sending Love from Wildwood!
Hugs to you my friend! She was a very passionate person like you said. Just focus on the happy memories!
((((hugs)))) Lyn, what a beautiful entry about your mum. I can tell that you love her very much. I always like to tell myself that all people are doing is the best they know how to do according to their own experiences in life. When they know better they do better. Clearly your mom loved you too. What a brave and strong woman she must have been to have come up the way she did, and to raise such a fine daughter as you, despite her depression etc. I send you love and hugs. Hope you are not missing your husband too much. xxoo
That's an interesting entry on your mom. I'm sorry about the way she treated you as a teenager. When people have such good qualities but then have so many bad as well, it makes it hard to put our feelings in perspective.. it creates a love-hate relationship.
Either way she was your mom through the good and bad. It's obvious you love and miss her.
Missy
Your mum sounds like my grandmother. Happy belated birthday to your mum. Sorry i missed it but things here have just been nuts and I don't get to my dashboard. If you add the new email feed that blogger now offers for your sidebar it would make keeping up much more easier to keep up. I've added to my mine.
What an amazing entry about your mom Lyn! I can see that you really have a heart of love for her in spite of the difficult times and that you and I both wish things were somehow different. I just did an entry about my mom too in my private journal and it's so hard.... sometimes I just don't even understand how I should even feel to the point I can't even write about it. I loved that you wrote how she cried about the Waltons and the Little House shows (two of my fav shows). I've been on a journal break for ages but it's so nice to stop by and catch up with you and wish you a Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. Good for you for looking for the best in your mom. My grandfather the preacher man would have said and done the same.
We mom's are not perfect honey, but do our best. I loved this tribute to your Mom, know she would have loved it too. Thanks for sharing. Have an awesome day.
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